If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied,
Illuminate the 'no's on their 'vacancy' signs
If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks,
Then I'll follow you into the dark.
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So what if you can see the darker side of me?
Hedonist, headbanger, heathen.
Sapphic, self-sustainable, smart (enough).
Musical, melancholic, me.
Twisted, tempremental,tame.
Determined, decided, disjointed.
Fast, fierce, free.
That's me in a nutshell, if I could fit into one anyway.
Who can tell me what love is?
I wish you could.
Hedonist, headbanger, heathen.
Sapphic, self-sustainable, smart (enough).
Musical, melancholic, me.
Twisted, tempremental,
Determined, decided, disjointed.
Fast, fierce, free.
That's me in a nutshell, if I could fit into one anyway.
Who can tell me what love is?
I wish you could.
Sex
Drugs
Rock
&
Roll
Drugs
Rock
&
Roll
Designer: Trash.co
Basecodes: Detonatedlove
Image: Ohhspontaneityy
Brushes: Moargh, Aethereality
Font: Dafont
Image host: Photobucket
Scripts: Dynamic Drive
i wonder if you know.
do you know on monday, after i spent the whole weekend puking, S smsed me. to ask me how i was. and the first question i asked, was, how's she? is she eating? is she okay? and S said, my god you should be more concerned about yourself right now. and i thought, yeah i should. but i can't help it. seriously.
i can't find the words to say anymore.
what if i say i love you. that won't make a change. that won't do us any good will it.
and if i say i don't. then i'd be lying to myself as usual. i can have the whole world fooled the way i lie, but i can't lie to myself without knowing it.
it's not as easy to say 'hate'
but the way i do things, it won't ever be too late
to learn to stop, to learn to live
but anything, anything i'd give.
i'm the kind of person who cares so much, but would never admit it. somehow it feels like a weakness. it's only natural for people to use it against me, when i tell them i care. i'm sick of caring. i wish i could just be selfish and wake up and only think about me. but i can't, yet again. we are a people born of war, these tactics come only natural. it's instinct. that's why i hate admitting that i care....
... so what am i doing now.
caring, again. letting my weaknesses show.
ben's back and sometimes i wish i could just. be like her. and not give a shxt. it must be nice living in ben's mind. but i know full well that i can't. people are my weakness, and i really get to the point of insanity. like i'm going nuts on everybody's behalf.
i tell you, if i don't go mad now, i will soon.
so to end this i should say. don't ever think i don't care. or miss you. or love you, for that matter. i just don't like showing it or admitting it.
and this fits.
so clear, like the diamond in your ring
cut to mirror your intentions
oversized, and overwhelmed
the shine of which has caught my eye
and rendered me so isolated,
so motivated,
i am certain now that i am...
i am in desperate need of sleep.
then again.
i can't tonight.
Basecodes: Detonatedlove
Image: Ohhspontaneityy
Brushes: Moargh, Aethereality
Font: Dafont
Image host: Photobucket
Scripts: Dynamic Drive
3:46 PM, Thursday, February 7, 2008
i wonder if (s)he knows (s)he's all i think about at night.i wonder if you know.
do you know on monday, after i spent the whole weekend puking, S smsed me. to ask me how i was. and the first question i asked, was, how's she? is she eating? is she okay? and S said, my god you should be more concerned about yourself right now. and i thought, yeah i should. but i can't help it. seriously.
i can't find the words to say anymore.
what if i say i love you. that won't make a change. that won't do us any good will it.
and if i say i don't. then i'd be lying to myself as usual. i can have the whole world fooled the way i lie, but i can't lie to myself without knowing it.
it's not as easy to say 'hate'
but the way i do things, it won't ever be too late
to learn to stop, to learn to live
but anything, anything i'd give.
i'm the kind of person who cares so much, but would never admit it. somehow it feels like a weakness. it's only natural for people to use it against me, when i tell them i care. i'm sick of caring. i wish i could just be selfish and wake up and only think about me. but i can't, yet again. we are a people born of war, these tactics come only natural. it's instinct. that's why i hate admitting that i care....
... so what am i doing now.
caring, again. letting my weaknesses show.
ben's back and sometimes i wish i could just. be like her. and not give a shxt. it must be nice living in ben's mind. but i know full well that i can't. people are my weakness, and i really get to the point of insanity. like i'm going nuts on everybody's behalf.
i tell you, if i don't go mad now, i will soon.
so to end this i should say. don't ever think i don't care. or miss you. or love you, for that matter. i just don't like showing it or admitting it.
and this fits.
so clear, like the diamond in your ring
cut to mirror your intentions
oversized, and overwhelmed
the shine of which has caught my eye
and rendered me so isolated,
so motivated,
i am certain now that i am...
i am in desperate need of sleep.
then again.
i can't tonight.