If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied,
Illuminate the 'no's on their 'vacancy' signs
If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks,
Then I'll follow you into the dark.
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So what if you can see the darker side of me?
Hedonist, headbanger, heathen.
Sapphic, self-sustainable, smart (enough).
Musical, melancholic, me.
Twisted, tempremental,tame.
Determined, decided, disjointed.
Fast, fierce, free.
That's me in a nutshell, if I could fit into one anyway.
Who can tell me what love is?
I wish you could.
Hedonist, headbanger, heathen.
Sapphic, self-sustainable, smart (enough).
Musical, melancholic, me.
Twisted, tempremental,
Determined, decided, disjointed.
Fast, fierce, free.
That's me in a nutshell, if I could fit into one anyway.
Who can tell me what love is?
I wish you could.
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Designer: Trash.co
Basecodes: Detonatedlove
Image: Ohhspontaneityy
Brushes: Moargh, Aethereality
Font: Dafont
Image host: Photobucket
Scripts: Dynamic Drive
'That's What You Get' by Paramore's quite addictive.
i don't want to post an emo post, cause it's boring to those of you who still read me, but i guess i'm growing weary. i don't know. so many times, i'm tempted to call everyone up and say,"goodbye, i'm leaving this country, i'm gonna conveniently fall out of touch with you," not because they've been bad to me but because i can't be there for them anymore. i'm only gonna let them down. it's easy for me to wish i wasn't human, so i wouldn't feel hurt, or sick of it all, as i do, but it's not possible for me to be anything else. i only wish that... just for a day or two, things would all be stable and calm and peaceful, without any effort on my part.
i've said this before, but my life is like a series of seesaws. when one party's on good terms with me, the other party gets upset. and vice versa. now imagine this, every day with different people. i'm tired of instability. life's exciting enough without it, at least for now. i don't need that kind of excitement like i once craved. i just want my peace and quiet.
call me reclusive, but i don't like getting so close to so many people. it just happens. and i've never been afraid of trusting, but lately i remember all those times my trust was betrayed, and i sincerely wonder why on earth i keep doing it. it's like playing Russian Roulette, with yourself.
i could use a fresh beginning, too.
i know who i am and i will stand up for myself, but i can't promise any of you that i can be who you want me to be. i can't be perfect, i can't be there for you all the time, i can't always be understanding and patient and listen to you, i can't give you any advice, and i can't always tolerate your bad moods. i have my own bad moods too. i too feel like i should just run away, but i stay and listen and do my best for you, because i do, contrary to popular belief, care.
i'm gonna be distant for the next few days/weeks, because i want to be somewhere peaceful and if that exists only in my mind, then so be it. i'm not living a lie, i'm just meditating in my own non-spiritual way.
because it gets to a point where i don't know what to do anymore, but i don't wanna let go of anything.
and all this drama, why? well, i've let you down again... and i can't bear to do it anymore. i'm sorry.
'cause we lost it all
and we can't go back,
i'm sorry i can't be Perfect.
Basecodes: Detonatedlove
Image: Ohhspontaneityy
Brushes: Moargh, Aethereality
Font: Dafont
Image host: Photobucket
Scripts: Dynamic Drive
6:51 PM, Wednesday, May 28, 2008
but nothing compares to a quiet evening alone.'That's What You Get' by Paramore's quite addictive.
i don't want to post an emo post, cause it's boring to those of you who still read me, but i guess i'm growing weary. i don't know. so many times, i'm tempted to call everyone up and say,"goodbye, i'm leaving this country, i'm gonna conveniently fall out of touch with you," not because they've been bad to me but because i can't be there for them anymore. i'm only gonna let them down. it's easy for me to wish i wasn't human, so i wouldn't feel hurt, or sick of it all, as i do, but it's not possible for me to be anything else. i only wish that... just for a day or two, things would all be stable and calm and peaceful, without any effort on my part.
i've said this before, but my life is like a series of seesaws. when one party's on good terms with me, the other party gets upset. and vice versa. now imagine this, every day with different people. i'm tired of instability. life's exciting enough without it, at least for now. i don't need that kind of excitement like i once craved. i just want my peace and quiet.
call me reclusive, but i don't like getting so close to so many people. it just happens. and i've never been afraid of trusting, but lately i remember all those times my trust was betrayed, and i sincerely wonder why on earth i keep doing it. it's like playing Russian Roulette, with yourself.
i could use a fresh beginning, too.
i know who i am and i will stand up for myself, but i can't promise any of you that i can be who you want me to be. i can't be perfect, i can't be there for you all the time, i can't always be understanding and patient and listen to you, i can't give you any advice, and i can't always tolerate your bad moods. i have my own bad moods too. i too feel like i should just run away, but i stay and listen and do my best for you, because i do, contrary to popular belief, care.
i'm gonna be distant for the next few days/weeks, because i want to be somewhere peaceful and if that exists only in my mind, then so be it. i'm not living a lie, i'm just meditating in my own non-spiritual way.
because it gets to a point where i don't know what to do anymore, but i don't wanna let go of anything.
and all this drama, why? well, i've let you down again... and i can't bear to do it anymore. i'm sorry.
'cause we lost it all
and we can't go back,
i'm sorry i can't be Perfect.